Chaos, and More Chaos

Ok, what I want to know is... Who sent the memo out that says, "Deena is pregnant, let's cause as much chaos as possible?" This past month or two has been crazy. First we had the Down's scare and all the extra Dr. visits and stress that goes with that, then this month, has not been lacking in it's own share of stresses. The first part of September, I had kidney stone problems, got admitted to the hospital for a couple days, out only in time to go to "Deeper Still". Then I get home and go back to work, and get food poisoning, which lays me up for 3 days. I lose weight, get dehydrated, and the day I get to go back to work, I have to be sent to the ER for severe dehydration and a massive urinary tract infection. Then mom decides she is missing out on some of the attention, and she ends up in the hospital for 4 days for almost passing out a few times, and they find she is going in and out of an irregular rhythm. She is home, all is great, then I get a double ear infection. Got treated quick, got over it, and now.....Caleb hasn't pooped in 9 days. We started giving him laxatives 5 days ago, and nothing is working. So days later, enemas, suppositories, laxatives, an ER visit, Dr visit, and half a day at Children's hospital...still no poo. He now gets 3-4 doses of Miralax a day till he goes, and if he doesn't go soon, they will have to do a Sigmoidoscopy and clean him out. I have never wanted to wipe a butt, so bad in my life. I am so worried about him.

I am trying to pick up extra, so we can have some money in savings for when the baby gets here, because I won't have much money coming in those 3 months. It seems like every time I try to pick up, I get sick or something happens. We have only a few dollars in savings and time is running out. I am 24 weeks pregnant now, and about $2000 behind budget. Pray that the chaos calms done, because now I need to work 4-5 days a week till Thanksgiving to make up.

But, most of all....pray that Caleb will poop!!!!!

Deeper Still

Well, we made it to Nashville and back in one piece. No wrecks, accidents, or illnesses to report. We all were truly blessed with the desire to go "Deeper Still" with God. This is a book that I bought, that I can't wait to get into, after I finish the 3 others I started last month. I had never heard Kay Arthur, or Priscilla Shirer, and let me tell you, they are great speakers too. The knowlege of the scriptures that Kay has is amazing. I knew a lot of the verses she quoted, but I have never been good about being able to say Book, Chapter, and Verse. I need to work on that more.

The other things that has just weighed heavy on my mind is this: I am realizing just how many people still have God in a box. I recently shared how I felt after finding out that we may have a Down's baby to a few people from our congregation. I shared how I felt broken hearted, disappointed, guilty, and scared after that news was given to me. I then shared how a couple days later, I just had a peace come over me like I did when I was a little girl sitting on my dad's lap during a scary part of a movie, knowing he would protect me and all would be okay. I went on the share with them that I believe that was the Lord and His Holy Spirit just wrapping his arms around me and telling me it would be okay. That's where I lost them. They looked at me like I had 4 heads. How sad that they could not relate.

I know that sounds awful touchy, feely... but my God IS touchy, feely. He is alive and at work in our lives, if we just take time to notice, and give him the glory. No, we don't feel that way 24/7, but he promises that he will reveal himself to us who diligently seek him with all their hearts. (Jeramiah 29:13)

My Three Sons

It's a BOY!!!

I was just in the hospital for kidney stones, and they did the ultrasound early. I was working and started having that familiar right flank pain. They sent me to triage, and they admitted me. If I was not pregnant, they would send me home and tell me to strain my urine and drink plenty of fluids. But no, I got to stay for 28 hours. Let me tell you, it is a whole lot easier to be on the other side of the needle. But we did get to do the ultrasound early and we found out that the baby is okay, all measurements were fine with no alarming flags indicating the baby has Down's. Praise the Lord !!!

As I was sitting there wondering how I was going to console John when they said, "It's a girl", I see the above picture, and shock just comes over me, as I realize, my premonitions were all wrong. We will add one more boy to the Jefferson family. Well, I guess that is just as well, the boys have absolutely no modesty, which would have ruined a little girl. I say that, as Caleb runs through the house naked riding his imaginary horse. Who knows where his pants went this time.

We looked through the baby name book last night and we think we have a name we like...Paden Shea Jefferson. Who knows, we may change it 100 times in the next 19 weeks. Caleb thinks we should name him Jimmy Neutron, and Brett is still hoping the ultrasound is wrong.

Tomorrow we leave for "Deeper Still" in Nashville, remember to pray for our safe trip. I can't wait.

Faith Plus Baseball

John and I took the boys to Faith Days at the Great American Ballpark yesterday. It was the perfect combination, God and baseball. Although it was hot enough that you would have thought it was closer to ____. The Reds played the Padres (and got beat), but then they had a concert by Mercy Me after the game. It was awesome. What faith they have and what a powerful testimony we heard. Bring the Rain, In the Blink of an Eye, and a few new songs were among the many songs they sang. We got to hear the story behind the writing of the songs. Wow. I am so glad that Brett got to hear real life testimony and perserverance with faith through tough times. They also had local sports heroes talk while we were waiting on the concert. They sent the message loud and clear, that if you put God first, the rest will be added, and having everything is nothing without Him.

Of course, on the way home, the baby needed to stop at Graeter's for ice cream. Banana flavor is the best! Back at home, we went for a dip in the pool to try to cool off, because our central air stopped working on Friday. Then Brett was off to school this morning. How the summer went so fast. Caleb sat on the front porch this morning watching the bus take Brett away, and you would have thought his little world had ended. Not long from now, the baby will be watching Caleb get taken away by the big yellow bus. How time flies. I am glad we got at least on family day before the end of summer.

Our Decision

This is what our baby looks like now. We are 16 weeks pregnant. Isn't it truly a miracle? We met with the genetics counselor on Thursday. We had a lot of questions and learned a lot. Our chances to have a Down's baby is 1/255 due to the blood work part of the triple screen mostly. The ultrasound part of the screen had the measurements all ok. We can have an amniocentesis if we want, but the risk of going into early labor, which would be lethal to a baby at this stage is 1/400. Just not a risk worth taking for us given that 1/255 translates to 0.4% chance of having a Down's baby, or 99.6% chance of having a normal healthy baby. I really don't know why they even scare people to death with those odds. Why not start offering options if you have a 10-25% risk instead of 99%?

So, the other option we were given is to have a level 2 ultrasound, which they focus on several specific measurements which can send red flags about whether a baby has Downs. They measure the amount of fluid on the brain, the length of the thigh bones looking for abnormal shortness, the nuchal fat on the back of the neck, and they look at the heart for valve problems. All together their are 9 things they measure. John and I have decided that we will have this ultrasound and then if several markers send up more red flags, then we will consider further testing. At this point, we feel all will be okay, and we are going to go forward, enjoy this pregnancy, and not worry about it anymore. Worry doesn't change anything, and we are confident the Lord will not give us more than we can handle.

Whether this baby ends up having Down's or not, our Lord blessed us with this baby, and He knows what he is doing. We continue to walk in faith, leaving our worries in his hands. If he takes care of the birds, and the lilies, how much more do we mean to him? (Matthew 6)

"Down" a path a Faith.

It's been a while since I blogged, but I am finding myself needing to write to relieve stress a little more lately, and I hope to read other's blogs and draw encouragement from like minded Christians.

This is a picture of my family at Caleb's preschool program. He is moving up to the next class this September and I think back that it wasn't that long ago, we stood on the same stage as Brett graduated from one class to go to Elementary School. How time flies. In this picture, I recently found out that we were going to have another baby. We were still in shock, since I was on birth control, and got pregnant after taking several weeks of antibiotics due to a horrible upper respiratory infection I got at King's Island indoor water park. We are now used to the idea, actually getting excited about having another baby, and starting to prepare for this blessing God has decided to give us.

I elected to do a test called an Ultrascreen, which is a blood test along with an ultrasound to screen for birth defects. I really didn't care about screening for problems, the reason I wanted to do it, was for peace of mind. I had a misscarriage before having Caleb, and it was horrible. I had that miscarriage at about 10 weeks along. I felt that having this ultrascreen would give me the opportunity to see the ultrasound, that the baby was okay, and then I wouldn't worry about having a miscarriage and I could have peace of mind.

Peace of mind is not at all what I got. The screening came back that John and I are at an increased risk of having a Down's Syndrome baby. We now are being referred to a genetic counselor to decide what we want to do. Do we want to have to have an amniocentesis or not to know for sure if our baby has Downs? I really don't want to worry for 25 more weeks, but I am nervous about having a procedure that has any risk of causing a miscarriage. I want to be prepared, I would like to find out I have nothing to worry about and enjoy my pregnancy.

I think to myself so many things. I found out that it may be due to problems with the egg many times. So, is it my fault? Then I think, if I was going to have a child with a birth defect, Downs is much better than spinal bifida or other crippling disorders. After all day crying on Tuesday, then having my fears confirmed that the test was correct on Thursday, and crying more, I feel weird. I don't know if I am just cried out, or numb, or if this is a peace that the Lord has given me. Is he reassuring me that it is all going to be okay, or is he comforting me, letting me know that he will equip us with what we need to get through the worst? I just have this feeling like I did as a little girl when my dad would hold me on his lap and love me. I feel protected, sheltered from the world. My heart still aches, but I somehow know all will be okay, because I am not alone. This I guess is what it is to go down a road of faith.