Faith Plus Baseball

John and I took the boys to Faith Days at the Great American Ballpark yesterday. It was the perfect combination, God and baseball. Although it was hot enough that you would have thought it was closer to ____. The Reds played the Padres (and got beat), but then they had a concert by Mercy Me after the game. It was awesome. What faith they have and what a powerful testimony we heard. Bring the Rain, In the Blink of an Eye, and a few new songs were among the many songs they sang. We got to hear the story behind the writing of the songs. Wow. I am so glad that Brett got to hear real life testimony and perserverance with faith through tough times. They also had local sports heroes talk while we were waiting on the concert. They sent the message loud and clear, that if you put God first, the rest will be added, and having everything is nothing without Him.

Of course, on the way home, the baby needed to stop at Graeter's for ice cream. Banana flavor is the best! Back at home, we went for a dip in the pool to try to cool off, because our central air stopped working on Friday. Then Brett was off to school this morning. How the summer went so fast. Caleb sat on the front porch this morning watching the bus take Brett away, and you would have thought his little world had ended. Not long from now, the baby will be watching Caleb get taken away by the big yellow bus. How time flies. I am glad we got at least on family day before the end of summer.

Our Decision

This is what our baby looks like now. We are 16 weeks pregnant. Isn't it truly a miracle? We met with the genetics counselor on Thursday. We had a lot of questions and learned a lot. Our chances to have a Down's baby is 1/255 due to the blood work part of the triple screen mostly. The ultrasound part of the screen had the measurements all ok. We can have an amniocentesis if we want, but the risk of going into early labor, which would be lethal to a baby at this stage is 1/400. Just not a risk worth taking for us given that 1/255 translates to 0.4% chance of having a Down's baby, or 99.6% chance of having a normal healthy baby. I really don't know why they even scare people to death with those odds. Why not start offering options if you have a 10-25% risk instead of 99%?

So, the other option we were given is to have a level 2 ultrasound, which they focus on several specific measurements which can send red flags about whether a baby has Downs. They measure the amount of fluid on the brain, the length of the thigh bones looking for abnormal shortness, the nuchal fat on the back of the neck, and they look at the heart for valve problems. All together their are 9 things they measure. John and I have decided that we will have this ultrasound and then if several markers send up more red flags, then we will consider further testing. At this point, we feel all will be okay, and we are going to go forward, enjoy this pregnancy, and not worry about it anymore. Worry doesn't change anything, and we are confident the Lord will not give us more than we can handle.

Whether this baby ends up having Down's or not, our Lord blessed us with this baby, and He knows what he is doing. We continue to walk in faith, leaving our worries in his hands. If he takes care of the birds, and the lilies, how much more do we mean to him? (Matthew 6)

"Down" a path a Faith.

It's been a while since I blogged, but I am finding myself needing to write to relieve stress a little more lately, and I hope to read other's blogs and draw encouragement from like minded Christians.

This is a picture of my family at Caleb's preschool program. He is moving up to the next class this September and I think back that it wasn't that long ago, we stood on the same stage as Brett graduated from one class to go to Elementary School. How time flies. In this picture, I recently found out that we were going to have another baby. We were still in shock, since I was on birth control, and got pregnant after taking several weeks of antibiotics due to a horrible upper respiratory infection I got at King's Island indoor water park. We are now used to the idea, actually getting excited about having another baby, and starting to prepare for this blessing God has decided to give us.

I elected to do a test called an Ultrascreen, which is a blood test along with an ultrasound to screen for birth defects. I really didn't care about screening for problems, the reason I wanted to do it, was for peace of mind. I had a misscarriage before having Caleb, and it was horrible. I had that miscarriage at about 10 weeks along. I felt that having this ultrascreen would give me the opportunity to see the ultrasound, that the baby was okay, and then I wouldn't worry about having a miscarriage and I could have peace of mind.

Peace of mind is not at all what I got. The screening came back that John and I are at an increased risk of having a Down's Syndrome baby. We now are being referred to a genetic counselor to decide what we want to do. Do we want to have to have an amniocentesis or not to know for sure if our baby has Downs? I really don't want to worry for 25 more weeks, but I am nervous about having a procedure that has any risk of causing a miscarriage. I want to be prepared, I would like to find out I have nothing to worry about and enjoy my pregnancy.

I think to myself so many things. I found out that it may be due to problems with the egg many times. So, is it my fault? Then I think, if I was going to have a child with a birth defect, Downs is much better than spinal bifida or other crippling disorders. After all day crying on Tuesday, then having my fears confirmed that the test was correct on Thursday, and crying more, I feel weird. I don't know if I am just cried out, or numb, or if this is a peace that the Lord has given me. Is he reassuring me that it is all going to be okay, or is he comforting me, letting me know that he will equip us with what we need to get through the worst? I just have this feeling like I did as a little girl when my dad would hold me on his lap and love me. I feel protected, sheltered from the world. My heart still aches, but I somehow know all will be okay, because I am not alone. This I guess is what it is to go down a road of faith.